It's been awhile since I have been able to sit down and write, and here it is 4:30 am on my birthday no less. But this is when I feel the most like writing usually so here I am. Today I really want to go deep into the Big Three because its been on my heart and mind for a couple of weeks now. In our men's Bible study, we have been studying leadership and going over how those three apply, but with the size of our study and time wise, we could only go so far with each of them. Maybe it was placed on me because we just scratched the surface, but I think it's more because the deeper I thought about it, the more I realized those are the areas I struggle the most. As a man and as a christian , the deeper into the meaning of chastity, sobriety, and excellence I go, the more I realize I'm not living it out fully. I am writing this, one to contemplate for myself but mainly to share with readers everything I have learned while studying it. It is my hope that this helps you as much as it has me and together we can further our relationship with Christ and each other.
The first of the Big Three is Chastity. What do you normally think when you hear the word? If you are like most people, you think about sexuality and you think it means abstaining from, or not having sexual relations. In a sense this is right. On the surface it seems abstaining is as far as it goes, but Jesus himself said that if you lusted after a woman in your heart you were guilty of adultery( Matthew 5:28). So physically abstaining from sexual actions doesn't make you chaste. What does chastity and being chaste mean? By definition it is the condition or quality of being pure. it doesn't mean physically not doing certain things. It means in mind body and soul being pure. That is why Jesus said what He said. He used lust as an example, but being pure means more than just sexuality. It means not giving yourself to anything that isn't of God. The old testament describes the people of God as an "adulterous nation" because they had turned away from Him and gave themselves to something else. How many times do we prostitute our souls for pleasure, or for something we want even though its not from God. Not to be harsh, but that's what we do. We sell ourselves short for money, or pleasure or countless other things. Another word for pure is holy. "Be Holy for I am Holy"(Leviticus 19:2). Our first call as Christians, is a call to Holiness. Therefore by nature, our first call is a call to Chastity.
The second of the Big Three is Sobriety. What do you think of when people talk about sobriety? It is commonly used when talking about drugs and alcohol. Not giving into being drunk or using drugs. Our bible study talked about drinking especially because it was among college students. But the truth is, moderation of alcohol and not using drugs is the SECOND definition of sobriety. The first definition rarely gets used. The first definition is stated as the gravity of bearing, manner, or treatment. In other words, when the situation is serious or requires serious focus to it. Ever been going along having fun or not really paying attention and then got hit hard with bad news such as a death or something? They are known as sobering moments. Why? Because its in those moments when whatever you had been doing, doesn't mean anything. You have that perfect clarity of the realness of a situation. You become clear headed and extremely focused on that one thing. Psalm 73 is one my favorite psalms because the writer has a profound sobering moment. Its kind of lengthy so I will just sum it up here, you should read the whole thing sometime. He writes that he had almost fell because of envy of wicked people. He says that they never seemed to get sick, that they got wealthy and how unfair it was. He talks about how they are strong and how people turn to them. Then the envy kicks in. He talks about how maybe having a pure heart was in vain because it seemed like every moment he was afflicted and every day brought new punishments. It troubled him deeply that he even thought this way. But then he says he went into the sanctuary of God. There he sees the end of the wicked and what their destination really was. Then he completely repents and turns back to God and here is my favorite verse. "My heart and my flesh may fail me, but God is the strength of my heart, my portion forever."(Psalm 73:26) I would say that was a sobering moment for him. He had been wandering in his thoughts when it struck him that their destination was destruction. That final destination that he saw gave him clarity and made him sober minded. He wasn't drunk, but he had gotten caught up in the cares of what he was seeing. How many times do we get swept away either in sinful ways where we are jealous or even in ways that aren't sinful but they still distract us from that final destination?
The final of the the three is Excellence. It seems fairly straightforward and self expanatory, but I want to go a little bit deeper than that. Usually, excellence is thought of in terms of academics or sports. Something where someone is beyond the others or above them. When you think of someone who excels at something, what do you think of? Noble prize winners, valedictorians, MVP of the superbowl? This is the normal way of thinking about excellence, but what does God say on the matter? Here is an example of someone who, by our standards excelled because they were apostles.
20 Then the mother of Zebedee’s sons came to Jesus with her sons and, kneeling down, asked a favor of him. 21 “What is it you want?” he asked.She said, “Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right and the other at your left in your kingdom.” 22 “You don’t know what you are asking,” Jesus said to them. “Can you drink the cup I am going to drink?”
“We can,” they answered.23 Jesus said to them, “You will indeed drink from my cup, but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared by my Father.”24 When the ten heard about this, they were indignant with the two brothers. 25 Jesus called them together and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. 26 Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever wants to be first must be your slave."(Matthew 20:20-27)
In this example, we have the mother of two disciples who asks for her sons to have a higher place. Not that they would be better, but that they would have a higher place in the kingdom.What mother doesn't want to be proud and have their children in a higher place especially when its GOD we are talking about?? But Jesus makes it plain to them, that it wasn't about being in a better position than anyone else. The end goal isn't like at a corporation where you work to climb the ladder. The end goal is to hear the words "My good and faithful servant, come in." For us to truely live out Excellence, it means to not just do our best but to give all of ourselves into what we do. The greatest musicians, and actors don't do it for the money ( not all of them anyways). they do it because that's their passion and so they give themselves to it fully."And in whatever you do,whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him."(Colossians 3:17)
How do these three tie into each other? What do they have in common? They all three stem from the same end goal. With Chastity, its, saving your mind body and soul for things that are of the Lord. Its not giving yourself over to desires or worldly things. Dietrich Bonhoeffer said this,"The essence of chastity is not the suppression of lust, but the total orientation of one's life towards a goal" (Dietrich Bonhoeffer Letters and Papers from Prison). With sobriety, its keeping your mind clear in light of eternity. For instance, playing video games isn't a sin, but I know for me, its easy to spend hours at a time playing online. Sobriety is about the gravity of the situation though in light of eternity. With Excellence, its about devoting ourselves fully to a cause for Christ.
There are a lot of tools and things that can help us along the way such as prayer, adoration and the like and if you want to talk, message me and I can help you. But I want to break it down to some simple questions you can ask yourself and these questions will help you develop growth in these virtues as well. Asking yourself these questions in big decisions is important, but its also important in little decisions. If you can grow in the little ways, it will show and grow in the bigger ways.
1) Is what I am doing of God and for his Glory? If yes, then do it. If not, then rethink it. (Chastity)
2) Do things like this distract from eternal thinking? If yes, then maybe you shouldn't do it. Not that its bad or you can't have fun, but keep the end goal in mind so as not to be caught off guard. (Sobriety)
3) If I chose to do this, and its for the glory of God am I willing to give myself fully to it? If yes then do it and devote yourself! If not, then ask yourself why? What's stopping you or hindering from doing your best and giving yourself wholly? ( Excellence)
Feel free to leave questions and comments. You aren't on this journey alone and my goal as your brother is to help in anyway I can. Have a Blessed day!
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