A man dies and reaches the gates of Heaven. St. Peter greets him and tells him he can enter if he does one thing. Of course the man says "What is it? I'll do anything!" St. Peter asks him to show him his scars. After a few minutes of checking himself over, the man looks at St. Peter and says, " But I don't have any scars." St. Peter looks at the man sadly and asks " Was nothing worth fighting for?"
I heard this story a couple years ago when I had the chance to meet Martin Sheen at a FOCUS conference. It's stuck with me ever since, but it recently came to mind after a conversation I had with a friend. We are really good friends now but there was a point when there was a lot of conflict and injuries on both sides as a result. In our conversation this person said they had forgiven me a long time ago and I thanked them for that but also noted that often times forgiveness is one thing, and healing is something else. It really got me thinking about the scars I have and even wounds that haven't completely healed yet.
Then I thought about two movies I watched that at first might not seem to fit in with all this or relate to each other but stay with me. The first one was a history channel mini series event The Hatfields and McCoys. It was a dramatic re enactment of one of the bloodiest individual feuds in American history. The way it was depicted in this telling, Hatfield deserts the army while McCoy remains to fight and then after the war was over, incident after incident escalates until both families were bitterly fighting and killing each other. The other movie was The Red Badge of Courage. The famous story that used to be required reading material for middle/high school English classes everywhere. It's a story about a young man, Henry Fleming, who retreats during a battle and in shame tries to get injured and to try to make up and cover that he was a coward, he starts leading the charge in future battles.
See both of these stories start out the same. They deal with men who for whatever reason, whether fear, or doubt, they didn't want to fight. They retreated from the battle grounds and as a result, they both ended up with either physical or emotional injuries. How many times do we give in to temptations, or stay in unhealthy relationships because we don't want to fight?
With the Hatfields and McCoys, Hatfield didn't want to fight and it resulted in McCoy feeling resentment and bitterness. So much so that even relatively small arguments became battles that became bigger and bigger as the anger grew. It was so much so that even when there wasn't any actual arguments, there was incredible tension that people didn't know what would happen. I know in my own life, when I give in and don't fight, it snowballs into bigger and bigger sins and fights that may not have happened if I had fought valiantly the first time. Maybe if Hatfield had stayed in the initial fight, McCoy wouldn't have been so bitter and maybe the whole thing wouldn't have happened or maybe it wouldn't have been as bad as it was.
Even though both stories started out the same, this is where they differ. Where the battles Hatfield and McCoy were an escalation that started with a wound, Henry's injury causes him to fight all the more harder. He knows this injury isn't an injury to be proud of in the sense that he didn't receive it because he was brave or courageous. He knows that he only got this wound by being cowardly but he turns that around and uses it as a catalyst to light a fire and lead the way.
We just celebrated All Saints Day. I can guarantee you, there isn't a single saint who didn't have scars and that some of those scars came from not wanting to fight at some point. Even so they serve as an example, because they took those scars and knowingly fought the good fight before us.
Every one of us have scars and are going to get more scars, but how are we going to deal with them? See both stories start with men who didn't want to fight. In the end though, even with their scars they had to fight. We have to fight at some point. The question is are we going to use our scars to run and hide where we eventually have to fight even bigger battles than ever even inside ourselves against our own conscience? Or are we going to take courage that despite our scars we can lead the charge?As Christians we are asked to charge against the onslaught of the enemy and we have a choice. As Christians we know we have the hope and promise of Eternal Life after the battle because we know the eventual outcome. Take courage and lead the charge. I leave you with the ending of The Red Badge of Courage.
"It rained. The procession of weary soldiers became a bedraggled
train, despondent and muttering, marching with churning effort in a
trough of liquid brown mud under a low, wretched sky. Yet the youth
smiled, for he saw that the world was a world for him, though many
discovered it to be made of oaths and walking sticks. He had rid himself
of the red sickness of battle. The sultry nightmare was in the past. He
had been an animal blistered and sweating in the heat and pain of war.
He turned now with a lover's thirst to images of tranquil skies, fresh
meadows, cool brooks—an existence of soft and eternal peace.
Over the river a golden ray of sun came through the hosts of leaden rain clouds."
