I have another song on repeat in the background as I write this and listening to the lyrics brought this revelation. Spain's experience can be broken up into three experiences, experiencing Christ, the Living Word, experiencing Christ in one another, and experiencing Christ in the Eucharist. It is in this present moment of reflection I can honestly say that the two weeks in Spain was spent literally living out Mass.
While we have big moments, and our continual conversion should be brought about by the Living Word, it is receiving Christ in the Eucharist and among one another that this happens most often.
The chorus lyrics that has me caught up goes as such: " And every word she says, brings fear and amazement, Do you mind you'll lose your mind? And the music of her footsteps keeps you running after her, running to your end. She's your end"
I don't know if this was the writer's intentions, but to me the song sounds like the Church. How we are no longer individuals, but we become part of a whole in Christ. and becoming part of the Bride is our end. And this leads me to reflect on Spain even more because of how much more aware I am of the closeness and universality of our Church.
The first thing that really struck me was how fast I became friends with people on this trip. I am used to going on trips with people and only getting close to one or two people. Anyone that knows me knows that I tend to be a people person and I have a reputation for knowing a lot of people on my campus and when I go out. This was radically different than any other time, so much that it was unsettling to me. When we landed in madrid and made our way to Terminal One to wait for the bus, I met quite a few people by name and then out of nowhere, I met Angela Kirke. It went from "Hello, where are you from?" to an almost 2 hour conversation covering conversion stories, prayers and incredibly deep topics for a first time meeting. This definitely set a tone for what was in store in more ways than one. Vladimir had some hold ups and wasn't able to get with us until a day or two later but we became brothers virtually on the spot. I couldn't tell you how many conversations we had that went deep for an hour or two at a time. Unfortunately, or rather fortunately for me, I admit that he even helped me out after I made the mistake of getting drunk on a bad night.
It took me a few days to finally meet and talk with our Austrian friends but almost immediately we were hugging like friends of old. Reiner, France, Herbert and Wolfgang were the ones I was blessed to get to know incredibly well. They had a lot of wisdom they shared during our time together. I remember after getting to madrid we would go a day or two without seeing them and yet when we did see each other it was hugs like we hadn't seen each other for years.
This happened with people that weren't even with our group. There was a group of Canadians visiting Avila while we were there. I remember talking to three of them. A young man named John and two of his friends who were both named Christina. Oddly enough, I met John and these ladies separately. I had an amazing conversation about our journeys getting there with John and then later on, I met the Christina's. It was a random meeting and when we got to what our names were they hesitated. One finally said her name was Christina and then the other girl said mine is too! Half jokingly, I gave them a hard time about how its understandable in a faraway land they wouldn't want to give their real names to a stranger but yet they didn't want to start WYD off by lying. It was a passing joke and when we did get to madrid a few days later I met them randomly again on a side street. John ran up and gave me a hug and the Christina's weren't far behind. I remember them telling John to tell me their names so I ran with it that anyone could have their friend lie for them. They pulled out their passports and said " look! We aren't lying!" I responded that it was the most elaborate hoax I had ever seen anyone go through. We had a good laugh about it and while it was jokes, here it was again this closeness that I could even joke with them like that. We met again later that week and I was invited to go with them to eat dinner together and we exchanged contact info. If it had been any other kind of gathering I don't think this would have happened.
While in Avila, I also met a Dominican sister who overheard me talking about FOCUS to the Canadian group. She proceeded to tell me that her brother used to be a FOCUS missionary in Denver and it catapulted into a conversation about how small the world really was. It is this reason I share these stories. They say that love is the universal language. I would only change that in the sense of Love is the universal language. There are billions of people in the world. There were millions of people just at WYD and yet it was Christ the fulfillment of that Love, that united every one of us there. "She's your end." Just as body parts don't do every thing on their own, there isn't a single one of us who can do it alone. Nor are we ever alone. There may be periods in our lives when we feel alone, or kinda out on our own, but no matter where you are, the Church is always present.
Which brings me to the next point. The presence of the Church and being active in your community is vital for you as well as the other people you come in contact with! After spending time with all these different people language barriers were bound to come up. Over and over when I was talking with someone whose native tongue wasn't English, I found myself inadvertently talking like them. Whether it was the Austrians, or the French pilgrim that Kate Burghart and I had the blessing to spend about two or so hours with on the steps outside the monastery. I constantly found myself either speaking broken english or I had to speak slow and use easier to understand words to communicate. I found that after extended periods of time, I would go to friends who were fluent in English and yet I was still talking the same way. Countless times here at home afterwards, I would bump into someone and my immediate response was " Perdon," or " Los sientos". Not even thinking about it it just comes out even weeks later. This is why community is so important and why it is vital that you have a good core of Catholic friends around you. As a sinner, I would never say I am above sin, but I do find it incredible how easy it is to get back into sinful habits even just in the way we speak when we spend extended time away from faithful people. Just an hour conversation was enough to unwittingly change how I was communicating. What if we spend days or weeks without getting that Spiritual strength and nourishment?
While we are on the subject of language barriers, I would like to share a couple experiences of breaking through that barrier. While we were in Samos, the first few days were a little rough to order things in Hostel Victoria because I know very basic conversation Spanish. I remember trying to practice and I stopped one of the workers on a smoke break. "Hola" I said. "Beunos dias" he replied. I then took it a step further. " Como estas?" " Beun y tu?" "Muy beun". At this point, he started a conversation about something or other that I couldn't tell you what he said. I understood nothing of it and felt quite silly that I just tried to be proud in what I knew. By the end of the week, I still didn't know a lot but we were able to communicate on such a simple level that it worked rather well. I remember asking the gas clerk how to say orange juice and he didn't understand what I was asking so I said never mind. This guy wouldn't never mind though because a couple hours later he stopped me and Jeff Runyan and had him ask me the question I was asking earlier in the day! It was these moments that even with these language barriers, we were able to communicate and it was incredibly beautiful to see and be a part of. The one that tops them all though, was the night that I walked back to our host family's house. I got to the subway station and there was this beautiful young lady sitting by herself and we had about a ten minute wait for the next train. I approached her and we began a 30 minute conversation. This was my first full spanish conversation and it was one of the most incredible intimate moments in my life. We talked about where we were from, our studies, our families, even whether or not we we were married/dating or single, and why or why not. As intimate as this conversation was, rest assured it was very chaste and christ centered. And it was so beautiful the way it unfolded... At the end of the conversation, her stop was one stop before mine, we said our goodbyes and then she gave me a hug and the traditional kiss on both cheeks. She said " Hasta luego" in such a way that you would think we met on the train everyday and that she fully expected to see me the next day. Strangers and yet we connected through this bond of Christ. That moment still remains as a fond memory that I don't think I will forget for years to come.
One of my favorite people, (if its ok I have one, I think you will agree its an acceptable choice) was Father Martin. The first time I saw him was when he stopped on the way to Samos. He was sitting a few chairs down from me and I didn't get to actually talk to him alot, but I did get to hear him talk about some things. The first thing I noticed was a Yes! kind of moment. If you have ever seen a movie called Inglorious Bastards ( I wouldn't necessarily recommend it if you haven't) there is this scene where the American's posing as Nazis get found out by ordering three drinks with the Pointer, Index and Ring fingers. The proper German way of saying three with your hands is with the Thumb, Pointer and Index fingers. I bring this scene up because I had never seen it done in real life so I had no clue if it was factual or just something they threw in the movie. When Father Martin spoke, there were numerous times when "three" would come up and while talking he would use his hands to emphasize it. He did it the way they talked about in the movie and for me it was just a neat little detail that I thought was pretty awesome. I had a chance to talk to him and go to confession with him and he really challenged me in every aspect as we talked. One of the habits I have been wanting to overcome ( still haven't but almost) was smoking. The morning of the Camino we woke up and I remember walking up to Father Martin. I took my pack of cigarettes out and broke all of them in front of him and told him I was done with them. I threw them away and it was emotionally harder than I ever thought it would be. Mainly because I made this connection that this physical addiction was a a manifestation of spiritual addictions and if I could overcome it, then the other addictions weren't hopeless. I was able to go most that day without smoking and Father Martin brought it up the last time I saw him before made our ways back home. He told me how he was never going to forget seeing me break those and throw them away. It has motivated me to fight this even stronger than before.
This brings up another thing that completely caught me off guard. The generosity of the Spanish people. Our host family was so amazing to us. They had seven children and still made room for four of us guys to stay with them. They opened their home, food computer and even the apartment complex's pool for us. They were beyond generous. The second night their reminded me of my family at home because the "Big" soccer game was on. Barcelona vs Madrid. The living room was packed with family and friends just like my family does during football season.
One of the biggest acts of generosities I have ever encountered was the day when we were leaving to go to Cuatro Vientros. I would like clarify that the act itself wasn't the best thing to do, but the generosity behind it blew me away. Most non smokers probably wouldn't like this but I hope that you can at least appreciate the thought and intentions behind it because it was something truly amazing. We all met at the church before we headed off, and I was in the parking lot. I had left my money at home not thinking and I was still trying to fight the urge to smoke. There was a gentleman outside who was smoking and I gave in and asked if he had an extra one. He pulled out his pack and he only had about two left. He then tried to give me those remaining two and I told him I couldn't take his last ones but he insisted. I thanked him being as grateful as anyone could be. If you have ever had the urge for a cigarette then you understand how big this moment was. But that was't the end of the story. As he gave me his last cigarettes, he said he had to go and so we said our goodbyes. Keep in mind I just met this man for the first time. About twenty minutes later we all had our bags and we started the walk to the metro station. As we were walking this vehicle drove up and the driver jumped out of his car. I noticed it was the same guy I had just met in the parking lot and he ran straight over to me. When he reached me he held out his hand and in it was a brand new pack of cigarettes. This man in his generosity saw someone going without, and as a fellow smoker he knew what kind of struggle that would be so he deliberately left to buy me a pack. In Europe, cigarettes are more expensive than they are stateside and these weren't the cheapies by their standard either. I repeatedly told him that was too much and I couldn't take it but he refused to take no for an answer. Again I was blown away by this act of kindness. Again I would like to reiterate that yes smoking isn't healthy and I am trying to quit so it wasn't the best thing to do, but the intentions and generosity behind the act was mind blowing.
If I could relive those days, I don't think I would ever leave. But alas the time comes when our experiences stop being experienced and become memories. While it was a blessing to have been a part of them, whats more important is what we do with what we learned. This once in a lifetime trip taught me to live out Mass everyday, to search to God with all our hearts in his Word, in one another and especially in the Eucharist. It taught me that True Love knows no limits or barriers that it can't go through despite our limited abilities. It taught me that His Church is ever present and that we can't just watch, but we have to actively participate in our communities. That our communities as small as they seem are actually a lot bigger and more tightly knit together than we could ever dream. It taught me to see Christ in the little moments, in every conversation. And yes even in a pack of cigarettes...
